By: Shazia Yousuf Love is, when a father gets angry at his daughter for forgetting to tell him that she’ll be late from work. He is not angry because she did not inform him, but because he is concerned for her out of love. Love is, when a wife is upset with the husband when he forgets to take the lunch to work, that was so lovingly prepared for him in the morning. Not because she had to get up and go through the pains of preparing it, but because … Read More

via Soul's Reflections

The literal meaning of her name is “a female who submits (to Allah)”. She in true essence was a perfect Muslima. A woman by nature upright and a true devotee, she prayed a lot and practiced every ritual with her heart and soul, but she also made every effort to understand the true essence. She was an ambassador of positive change in all aspects of life.

She was a very supportive wife, always stood right beside Abbu, ready to face all challenges of life. She looked after us all alone when Abbu was posted out of station. She accepted life’s challenges with a positive attitude.

She was a symbol of love, with no element of hatred in any tiny corner of her heart. She would avoid the use of negative expression even against those who hurt. She would easily forgive and forget.

She would be the first to share the joys and sorrows of those around her. She would be there for everyone whenever needed. Be it a neighbor’s or a relative’s wedding arrangement, or providing comfort and care to anyone staying at our place. I still remember, our house once seemed like a rest house, a relative who wasn’t well had come over to stay with his family. She would happily look after all of them. With limited finances, she would manage the entire house hold.

Weak at heart, she wept a lot, be it a moment of happiness or sorrow. Yet a symbol of strength when in time of need, she would stand up when others would fall, and would make the loved ones rise and shine.  Abbu’s hospitalization, a tough time for all of us. She herself was not too well during those days. Yet, she would actively be with him, make him eat like one would do to a child. We would find it funny how she handled him, but it really worked! A very strong willed woman.

So much outward strength, yet a very sensitive emotional heart apparently created havoc within her. Her body weakened, she was consumed by the life taking pleural effusion. Her nerves fought till the very last, the doctors also called her a brave and a strong willed woman. But she couldn’t continue the fight and she surrendered. She left us all on the 21^st May 2007.

Her loss has changed all of us. Our hearts are always touched by the tinge of pain, missing her each and every moment of our lives. Yet her loss has taught us, made us purer than before. Made us realize the true essence of our being. To forgive and forget is the focus of our lives. Being a Muslima is our aim.    

She was a perfect saint, so pure at heart, a perfect woman, a pure Muslima indeed! She will always be remembered by the lives she touched. We will never be able to overcome her loss, but she will live within our hearts

Mother; a synonym for unconditional love; a symbol of sacrifice. She has so much to give and needs nothing in return.

A person who’s life’s major focus is her family and children. Her entire life revolves around this. Sleep deprived, tired and always busy, she still loves to do all that she’s busy with. She is most happy when her children finish their meal. Her greatest achievement of the day is when the family enjoys the meal she prepared. It makes her forget her tiredness. She may even be ready to spoil them with more of her love and affection. Even if the children are married and visiting, she would prepare all their favourite food. She would even make arrangements for a takeaway!

She may not be conscious of this reality but every minute every second she is busy making good human beings. Whenever she says no or she is angry at something, she is working towards character building. When she scolds, that too is also out of love.

Even when she is ill, she’d be working. She may not even let others know how tired or how sick she is.

I lost my mother on May 21, 2007. She was seriously ill and in ICU for two months. Even in pain, her concern for us would never end. She’d ask me why I was here and not at work. I would have to convince her that it’s just fine if I don’t go to work for a few days. She would ask me to go and eat something from the hospital cafeteria, although she herself was feeding through tubes. She would worry about my health and ask me not to stand for long. She would ask me how the waiting area outside was and would tell me to go and relax. When she would feel a little better she would ask if we had made new clothes for the season. She wanted us to dress up smart. Even on her death bed, she was unable to depart because she was so concerned for us. I spoke to her, convinced her that we will all be fine, that she need not worry about us…

This is how a mother is….

She spreads her love not by words but by her deeds, just like The Divine love. She needs more than just a mothers’ day to show what she actually means to the ones she loves so much. She deserves to be loved every minute and every second of the day. Her efforts deserve appreciation not just by words but by deeds, by becoming a person she wants you to be, by being her pride and by loving unconditionally. Mothers’ day should be everyday!

There he was, standing beside the grave, as he would every Thursday. Another Thursday, one more rose on the grave and yet another hour or two of silent memories and flashbacks. He would stand there, not utter a single word, say a few prayers, and just shed a few uncontrollable tears that would lift the burden off his heart of losing her forever. His heart would feel lighter but also emptier than before. But this much would only be sufficient for him to live for a week more, to come back and visit her again.

But what’s the point now? This is not what she had wanted. She doesn’t even care if she gets a rose every Thursday on her grave. It doesn’t make her happy. It makes no difference. She has already attained the everlasting happiness that she deserved, and had hoped for just a glimpse of it in this world. It would have made a difference when she was a part of the living world, before her soul gave in and departed for the eternal peace. Yes, that rose would really have brightened her days, lifted her heart and she would have found some reason to smile.

But what stopped him? Nothing at all. He never realized how easy it was to put a smile on someone’s face. Only a few words of appreciation and just a few gestures that would simply reinforce the fact that he cared. Yes, he cared, but never understood how important it was to express.

Now, that she’s gone, he just wonders if he had ever told her what she meant to him. He keeps going over the past, just to remember if he had ever made her realize how much he cared. If only he had expressed his feelings!

True love needs nothing in exchange, no great demonstration of devotion, nothing but knowing that the other person loves you too. It only needs a heart in exchange.  So, let your loved ones know how you feel for them, it will only lift the spirits, give more meaning to your life and bring happiness to those you care for…before it is too late.

There are times when you happen to go through a phase in life, where you feel that this could be the end of everything. Life starts to haunt you, every second every minute; your mind just cannot rid the thought that you may not be able to see tomorrow. When in such a situation, one should try and live every moment to the fullest. But human heart is so uncontrollable at times; it just cannot help feeling depressed.

I also happened to go through a similar situation. My hemoglobin level was way below the normal range, and the doctor would not listen to any of my protests. He just kept on emphasizing the fact that we need to find out the reason for my anemia and for which he was forcing me to undergo a virtual colonoscopy. The process would not be as tedious as normal colonoscopy, but equally tough.

When the doctor gave his final verdict that I must undergo this process and I also gave in, it seemed the end of world to me. I felt I had thrown myself into a bottom less pit, from which there was no way out. The only exit from this pit would be complete consumption of my entire self!

Somehow, I got the strength from all the dear ones around me. These people had always existed around me, but I felt the strength of their existence when I was in sheer need of morale boosters. I got those much needed booster shots from all those who care in the form of encouraging words, hearing my heart out with patience, letting me say all that I wanted to and just responding with even more encouraging words, giving me their piece of mind, showing concern by calling me up and keeping up with how I was feeling, telling me to be brave and not cry, and most of all, being by my side all the while.

Now, that I have undergone the virtual colonoscopy, a very time consuming and tedious process, and there are further investigations still going on, I feel that I could not have done all that without having this feeling that there are so many people out there who truly care for me and my well being.

I felt God in them, and in the love they have to share. I also feel lucky that I have God all around me with all His love in so many different forms, and He’s on my side all the time.